“Honto?
I thought you weren’t leaving until--” Mina looked distressed for a moment, but
soon regained control of her features, “--of course, it’s up to you” she
finished. This was the liveliest reaction June had seen from Mina in weeks and
it almost made her want to retract her statement, but not quite.
“Yes, I know it’s sooner than
planned.” June felt like she at least owed Mina an explanation, “I--” she stumbled.
I don’t want to keep feeling like I am suffocating in a land where I cannot
communicate with anyone except for my roommate who I thought was a kindred soul
but now can’t say two words to me in one day. I don’t want to spend any more days
alone or in silence. I don’t want to become a bitter, curry eating, hikikomori. “--I, my parents wanted me
to come home to help with something.” She finished unconvincingly.
“Naruhodo”,
Mina responded, even keeled. “That’s soon. In a few days—do you need ride?”
“I thought I might take the bus,”
June responded. She had imagined their parting before. It would be full of
tears and plans to meet again soon. In her mind they would try to stay together
until the last possible moment when she walked through the airport security
gate. Now she was running away from Mina, afraid to face the reality behind all
the illusions she had built up about their relationship. To not have a proper
goodbye was preferable to having an emotionless one, she told herself.
“Ja,
I will walk you to the bus stop,”
“Okay,” June could acquiesce at
least that much.
“And your project?”
“Owari,
finished. I restored all of the pictures I found and returned them to their
owners. Those who I could not match I gave to the local community leader. He
knows the extended families of those who are… no longer here.”
“Yokatta
ne”
“Yokatta desu”
June responded. It is good, she told herself. It is good.
Leaving sooner is the right choice.
---
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