I want to preface it by mentioning that I've had an amazing time with the people I've met and that the memories I share with them are surely irreplaceable, regardless of what I discovered today. To quote A again, "a day like this, you have to be grateful for, it is very rare to discover these things about people".
It started after I finished my last day of work. (I didn't expect today to be my last day, but they hosted a tea party in my and AB's honor, so it was as good a day as any to be my last)
I picked up my laundry with AB, who had been my partner in crime (photographing projects, getting lunches, exploring antique shops long after our lunchbreaks were over) for the past two months at Sonke, and we walked back to our flat not quite believing that our time at Sonke was over. Upon arrival at her place I decided that I needed to finish cutting my bangs as my previous method of erring on the side of caution resulted in bangs that were still a bit too long. Thus I ended up at her place slowly and cautiously continuing the further self-butchering of my hair.
As I sat in front of her mirror her roommates D & L were discussing their plans for the next to week and also for the evening. D asked AB about her 'date' tonight. Date tonight, I thought to myself and then inquired aloud, what date tonight? Oh yeah, AB shrug laughed it off after a split second awkward pause, I forgot to tell you, I have a date with AJ tonight.
What? I tried to shake this off with a laugh of my own - have fun. I left her house soon after that.
At first it was hard for me to pinpoint what I was feeling - jealousy wasn't the word, as AJ and I were just friends, but we were good friends. And AB was my good friend as well - why then hadn't I heard about this earlier? I couldn't help the disappointment that I felt. I had known AJ for the past two months and I had only introduced AB and AJ once a few weeks ago when the three of us hung out.
From there nothing of particular interest happened until I heard from AJ three or so days ago that he was to watch a movie with AB and asked if I wanted to come. I heard nothing from AB herself. I thought to myself then that perhaps AB knew that I wasn't particularly into hunky vampires and sultry werewolves and therefore she didn't think it necessary to invite me or that it was ok that she only let me know about an hour or two before the start of the movie that she was going to decline my offer to go out that night and instead go watch a movie with my friend, all without extending an invitation. Though I felt jilted, I brushed it off by thinking that she must have had some reason for being as cold as she was. Je ne give a damn pas.
But this time it felt different, was she really not going to tell me at all that she was going on a 'date' with him until forced to admit it by D? What was the secrecy for - if it's something to be ashamed of then don't do it, or at least inform your friend ahead of time if it's something that feels wrong and needs to be covered up. I might quote A a million times in this entry but she does sum up things quite nicely, what she did was "just not nice".
This turn of events left a bad taste in my mouth, as I felt that someone who I had been so close to for the past few months had deliberately kept a secret from me, for whatever reason.
Yet it was still my last day of work and this was a cause for celebration! A and I decided to go out for dinner and invited our other Spanish friend, D, to come along. D told me "sorry but I feel like cooking today -- maybe you can come by tomorrow to my place and I'll make some nice spanish stew or whatever and then we can go out for drinks after" and told A "I am really tired today, besides, I wanted to go out yesterday and you guys didn't go so now it's my turn to say no".
Regardless, A and I decided we would enjoy our night, so after the gym we tried to decide where we would grab dinner. "Pito pito colorito..." (the spanish equivalent of eenie meenie minie moe) decided that we would go to the upscale Jardin right next door.
We spent some time downstairs further debating our decision but eventually felt bad for the waitress and had her lead us up the stairs to our seats. Much to our surprise who do we see but D and his South African 'colleague' sitting at a table for two for a nice, no doubt, date.
D's lines from previous encounters came to mind:
"I am too tired to go out today"
"I feel like cooking today"
"She is just my colleague, we are just friends" (we had met the two together on other occasions each time with him insisting they were work colleagues and us giving him the benefit of the doubt)
"I haven't had a date worthy of Jardin in a long time, that has to be someone you've been dating for like, years"
"You know, that is why I am single"
"I can't go to Jardin, it reminds me too much of my ex-girlfriend"
And perhaps worst of all, "White guys in South Africa are too ashamed to have a colored girlfriend because once you have one all the white girls won't pay attention to you anymore. But colored girls are much easier so a lot of guys have one on the side but won't admit that they are officially dating." Who knew he was referring to himself. Shame.
As our jaws dropped a little lower, Ana spewed out in Spanish what she either had the decency or just the lack of ability to not say in English, "caught red-handed, you cheater".
He had the gal to invite us to sit down at his table with him, and when we refused this offer a waiter brought us a nice bottle of wine bought for us by "the gentleman at the next table". Hohum, we took this offering without much ado as a sign of his guilt; it was by no means a accepted as a peace offering.
The dinner itself was delightful as the waiters remembered us from our world cup days where we would sit downstairs and watch the game while eating their crema catalan. For an appetizer we were brought a complimentary dish which we were promised "tasted like eating a cloud" and how! Delicious. Oysters, duck confit, sirloin, line fish, bread baked just for us, foie gras and more crema catalan. I haven't eaten so much and so well in ages.
As D and his colleague left we embraced and as we said our goodbyes he commented to A in Spanish "thanks for the wine..." insinuating that he was hurt by our lack of gratitude. There was no response from A and the couple departed from their disastrous dinner.
As for A and me, we had a nice laugh, finished our wine, and chatted with the waiter who requested to meet up with us some time during our future travels. If there is yet another crema catalan involved, or perhaps the cauliflower mousse aka cloud in a bowl I'm down.
All in all, the day has certainly been an interesting if not exhausting one and there are nuances and details in the relationships that I have forged here which I am too tired or unable to do justice to with this blog post. Forgive the rant-like style, it's not meant to be a rant but rather an account of the day with some of my thoughts thrown in for creating a blended palate. I don't really feel angry, rather I am in a state somewhere between surprise, amusement and a tinge of disappointment.
Truly, these two months I have learned so much about people. Relationships and people are never simple and I think this is definitely a subject I keep revisiting and revising my ideas on. However, these two months I have learned in leaps and bounds and have come out of it a bit more inspired, a bit more cynical, but still (and I can't seem to find the right word here but maybe) fresh.
With these developments, my time in Cape Town is soon drawing to a close as I'm being kicked out of my flat on the 31st of July. From there I will be traveling to Namibia, Zambia, Zimbabwe, and Mozambique - wherever the planes, buses, cars, camels, hot air balloons, rafts, and kayaks take me.
Peace, Love & Cankersores
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