Thankful

Yesterday, we got the shocking news that one of the members of our organization had been accidentally pierced in the eye with a stick of bamboo while weeding out a plot of land and was currently at the emergency room.

What was originally planned as a night of song and worship turned into an evening of fellowship, song, and prayer for AK. I realized, through the course of this night, that I had never really dealt with tragedy on such a personal level before. Even though I was working in Ishinomaki, where earlier that day a woman had just been telling me about how only five of her neighbors remain after the tsunami, somehow a year and a half later these stories seem worn out on the tongues of the tellers. The lady told us her story without pause or reflection. In stark contrast, the developments about AK were pouring in and the everyone's emotions were etched on their faces.

We parted into circles (Japanese circle, English circle) and prayed for each other and for AK. The English circle was small and when my turn came I gave my first, faltering prayer. The initial catch in my throat traveled to my eyes and down my face as I tried my best to pray for AK, and pray that all of us would all find our place, realize our purpose, and seek the truth--whatever the truth may mean. At the end (amen) we looked up and everyone had a red tinge to their eyes.

The Japanese circle concluded their prayers soon thereafter and T, one of my roommates, scooted her chair over and said that she wanted to pray for me. I was surprised but bowed my head and she began (in Japanese, translated by M). Even today, a day later, I only vaguely remember the exact words; all I can remember is the initial strain in her voice as she fought back tears, and the outpouring of love that I felt from her. We had hung out a lot these past weeks and gotten really close despite the language barrier--she had told me about her troubled past and I had confided in her my insecurities about the future. At that moment, as she prayed for me, I felt loved and extremely thankful.

This morning we heard that AK's surgery went well, but she had to lose her right eye in the process. I could not even fathom the loss of sight in an eye. A mixed bag, I thought, until I saw an email from the organization's leader (her husband) saying that said her only prayer request was to praise Jesus in all things. Attached at the bottom was a picture of her on a hospital bed, with a bandaged eye, a smile, and a peace sign.

This (post)Thanksgiving season I am thankful for the amazing people in my life.

Tagged from Deviantart

I haven't done one of these blog questionnaires in a very long time, but I was tagged in one by grayscaled on Deviantart (deviantart.com). Since she made the questions specifically for me (and 9 others) I felt compelled to take a stab at them.

1 – Are you content with your life? Why/what would you change if you could?

The overall answer is yes. I feel incredibly lucky to have this fellowship to Japan, a supportive bfbf (best friend boyfriend :), supportive friends (old and new!), and an open future. The last part is a point of concern at the moment, but I wouldn't say it's a negative thing--I guess despite the anxiety it causes, I wouldn't change it.  

2 – How important is love for you? On a scale 1-10. Why?
Love is for saps. I would say 10. I guess I'm a sap.
3 – Do your friends/relatives/close people know who you really are? If not, why?
I would say they know me better than they know myself. Either that or I'm easily impressionable (wait a second...) 
4 – Do you do things you consider important yourself, or base your actions in accordance to what other people want/expect of you? Why/why not.
I do what I want. I do wut I wahnt. But is what I want learned from what my parents/peers/literature/society expects? Most likely. 
5 – Name 3 of your best traits (the ones you like yourself, not by popular opinion)
Wanderlust, Spontaneity, Openness
6 – Name and describe 3 of your negative qualities that you actually likeand consider to be irreversible parts of your character. (I.e – I'm lazy, but that means I value my strength and time, and if I was a workaholic, I'd waste away.)
I dont like to spend time working--this means I try to either work efficiently or allocate specific time to work so I have time to play; Design OCD--alignment makes me happy; Nativity--I'd rather be trusting than cynical 
7 – Are you obsessed with anything? What is it?
I am obsessed with mixed drinks (and beer.. and wine..)--one day (soon) I will travel around England/Scotland bar tending (or maybe Australia)
8 – If you could be anything/anyone in the world, what/who would it be? Why?
I don't think there is anyone I would rather be. But maybe if I could be anyTHING I would try out being a hawk for a day. That would be freakin awesome. 
9 – Do you have a general idea of what you want to have/do in life? What is it?
General is the word. I want to do good. Whatever that means.  
10 – Do you believe in the afterlife? If yes, what kind – if no, why?
I would like to believe in an afterlife, but I'm not sure if I do yet.

Japan is Beautiful

I didn't realize how long it's been since I've updated this blog--my bad. I'm so accustomed to being on a regular schedule these last 22 years of my life that with the flexible work I've been doing here the days seem to have a timeless quality.

But what have I been up to lately?

This week I've brought the skills I learned from college (read: WorldMUN) into play--making google groups and using google docs to help the organization with institutionalization. I also realized that I retained something else from college: college style flakiness (you know, agreeing to things and then texting out last minute, must kick the habit).

On my day off we got lost in the Japanese countryside and ended up on top of a gorgeous mountain. It was the most serene and quiet I had experienced in a long time. As I walked around the open field atop that mountain I could hear the grass and the thistle and really feel the cold. I felt like I was standing on the verge of something.

Last night V and I took a mini roadtrip to a seaside clifftop set of cabins. The cabin we stayed in was made of wood and absolutely beautiful. The view from the patio, behind four sets of floor to ceiling windows, was directly of the beach, surf, and opposing cliffside. (What an amazing WorldMUN retreat house this would I have been, I thought to myself) We spent the evening and morning there, making apple and pecan pies. Somehow the oven also caught on fire.

Every day is an adventure.

Which one of these is not like the other

I have also rethought the project I want to undertake here. The stories that I have gathered, not from the survivors of the tsunami, but from the missionaries working here, have been some of the most compelling and interesting ones. Japan is a beautiful place, but it has its ugliness as well. I think it's just hidden better.